If grief and anxiety are both sitting in your chest right now, making it hard to breathe… You are not alone.
This is for you…
Maybe you lost someone you love, and now every quiet moment is filled with “what ifs.” Maybe you’re grieving a dream that died, a relationship that ended, or a season that’s over, and your mind won’t stop spinning worst-case scenarios about what comes next.
Or maybe, (and this is the hardest part), you’re grieving and anxious, and you can’t tell where one emotion ends and the other begins.
Friend, you’re not losing your mind. And you’re not doing this wrong.
Grief and anxiety are tangled together more often than we talk about. Today, I want to sit with you in that truth and offer some gentle guidance for holding both without falling apart.
Why Grief Triggers Anxiety (and Vice Versa)
Here’s what I wish someone had told me years ago: grief and anxiety can feed off each other, and that is completely normal. Consequently, when grief and anxiety collide, it can feel overwhelming.
When we lose something or someone we love, our nervous system goes into high alert. Loss reminds us that bad things can happen. That we’re not in control. That the people and things we depend on can be taken away.
And anxiety? Anxiety is our brain’s way of trying to protect us from more loss. It says, “If I worry enough, if I plan enough, if I stay vigilant enough, maybe I can prevent another hurt.”
But here’s the catch: anxiety after loss isn’t really about prevention. It’s about processing.
Your mind is trying to make sense of something that doesn’t. Your heart is trying to protect itself from feeling the full weight of what you’ve lost. And sometimes, anxiety feels safer than grief because at least anxiety gives us something to do.
Grief just asks us to feel. And that’s terrifying.
Why “Just Trust God” Doesn’t Always Help
Can we be honest for a second?
When you’re drowning in grief and anxiety, being told to “just trust God” can feel like being handed a life vest made of stones.
I believe in trusting God. I do. But in the moment when you can’t breathe, when the panic is rising and the grief is crushing your chest, platitudes don’t help. You need something you can hold onto right now.
Here’s the good news: God is big enough to handle your struggle with trust. He’s not shocked that grief makes faith feel harder. He made room for that.
Biblical Figures Who Struggled with Grief and Anxiety
If you’re feeling guilty because you’re grieving and anxious and still trying to have faith, let me introduce you to some people who did the same thing.
Jesus in the Garden
In Gethsemane, Jesus was “deeply distressed and troubled” (Mark 14:33). He told His disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.”
That’s not just grief. That’s anxiety. That’s distress. That’s a nervous system in overdrive.
And what did Jesus do? He prayed. He told the truth about how hard it was. He asked God if there was another way. And then, only then, He surrendered.
Jesus didn’t skip the struggle. He walked through it.
David in the Psalms
David wrote things like:
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?” — Psalm 13:1
“I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping.” — Psalm 6:6
“My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.” — Psalm 38:10
That’s grief. That’s anxiety. That’s someone who loved God and still struggled.
The Psalms give us permission to be human in our pain. David didn’t fake faith. He brought his whole mess to God… the fear, the questions, the exhaustion, and God called him a man after His own heart.
You don’t have to choose between being faithful and being honest. God has room for both.
The BREATHE Method for Grief-Anxiety Spirals
When grief and anxiety collide and you feel like you’re spiraling, try this. I use it when the panic hits and I can barely remember my own name, let alone a Bible verse.
B — Be Present in This Moment
Your mind wants to replay the past or catastrophize the future. Gently bring it back.
Say out loud: “Right now, in this moment, I am safe. Right now, I am breathing. Right now, God is here.”
You’re not denying the pain. You’re just anchoring yourself in now.
R — Remember You’re Not Alone
Grief and anxiety both lie and tell us we’re isolated. But you’re not.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Not close to those who have it all together. Close to the brokenhearted. That’s you. That’s where He is.
E — Express What You’re Feeling
Tell God. Tell a safe person. Write it down. Cry it out.
Don’t spiritualize the pain away. God doesn’t need you to clean up your emotions before bringing them to Him.
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” — Psalm 94:19
Notice: when anxiety was great. Past tense. Because David told God about it first.
A — Anchor with One Truth
When you’re spinning, you don’t need ten verses. You need one that you can hold onto.
Mine is usually: “You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4)
That’s it. Not a theological essay. Just: You. Are. With. Me.
Pick one truth. Let it be your anchor when everything else feels unsteady.
T — Take the Next Kind Step
Not the next productive step. The next kind step.
Maybe that’s drinking water. Maybe that’s calling a friend. Maybe that’s just moving from the bed to the couch.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28
Jesus doesn’t ask for hustle. He asks you to come. Even if “coming” looks like collapsing in His direction.
H — Hold Space for Both Emotions
You don’t have to choose between grief and anxiety. You can feel both.
- You can miss someone and worry about the future.
- You can trust God and struggle with fear.
- You can have faith and not be okay.
Both/and thinking saves us from the shame of feeling “wrong.”
E — Expect God to Meet You Here
Not after you pull yourself together. Not when you’re “better.”
Here. In the mess. In the tears. In the middle of the night when anxiety wakes you up and grief won’t let you go back to sleep.
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” — Psalm 145:18
In truth. That means you can show up exactly as you are.
Permission to Heal from Grief and Anxiety at Your Own Pace
Here’s what no one tells you about grief and anxiety: there’s no timeline.
People will give you deadlines. “Shouldn’t you be over this by now?” “It’s been six months.” “At least you still have…”
Ignore them.
Grief doesn’t have a schedule. Anxiety doesn’t follow a recovery plan. And healing isn’t linear.
You’re Not Doing It Wrong
Some days you’ll feel stronger. Some days you’ll fall apart again. Both are part of the process.
You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re not “not enough of a Christian” because you’re still struggling.
You’re just human. And God made room for that.
Both/And Thinking
You don’t have to choose:
- I can grieve and trust God
- I can be anxious and have faith
- I can struggle and be loved
- I can not be okay and still be held
The Bible is full of people who loved God and still had hard days. You’re in good company.
Anxiety Doesn’t Mean You’re Doing Grief Wrong
Sometimes anxiety after loss isn’t a sign of weak faith. It’s a sign that you loved deeply.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you from more pain. That’s not failure. That’s your body trying to survive.
Be gentle with yourself. The way you’d be gentle with a friend walking through the same thing.
“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” — Psalm 145:8
If God is slow to anger with you, maybe you can be slow to anger with yourself, too.
In Closing
Friend, I know this is hard. I know it feels like too much some days.
But, you don’t have to choose between grief and anxiety, faith and fear, or between being honest and being faithful.
God holds space for all of it.
He’s not waiting for you to get it together. He’s not disappointed that you’re still struggling. He’s not surprised that this is taking time.
He’s right here. In the valley. In the sleepless nights. In the moments when you can’t even form a prayer because the grief and anxiety are too loud.
You are held. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Even when the anxiety says you’re alone.
Even when the grief says nothing will ever be okay again.
You are held.
Take the Next Step
If you’re walking through grief and anxiety right now, I want to offer you something that’s helped me: daily encouragement that doesn’t demand you be okay when you’re not.
I created a free 30-Day Peace Journal filled with scripture, reflection prompts, and space to process exactly what you’re feeling, no shame, no pressure, just grace.
Each day includes:
- A verse of peace for anxious and grieving hearts
- Space to tell the truth about where you are
- A gentle prayer prompt
- Permission to not be okay
You don’t have to walk through this alone. And you don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not.
Let this journal be a quiet companion on the hard days. A safe space to bring your whole heart—grief, anxiety, faith, doubt, all of it.
Because God has room for all of it.
And so do I.
You’re doing better than you think, friend. I’m cheering for you. 🤍
— Katia at Ethereal Blessings
Peace for anxious hearts, Hope for grieving souls, Trust in God’s love